The Hard Case with Infinite Potential

Sara’s a bulldog. Aggressive, she often doesn’t work well with others,” said my client, the frustrated manager of a major corporate account. “Her connection with her team especially suffers from Sara’s ‘need to be right.’”

Despite these challenges, the manager also saw potential in my client we will call Sara. Yes, her approach to communication and relationship-building was lacking. But she had potential. “She could become the next department leader. She’s in the succession line of next-level leaders. But she really needs help, Debbie.”

Hard cases like Sara’s are what I love. What I excel at.

Unfortunately, this was no easy task. In our first session, Sara revealed her discouragement and frustration. “I want to leave this company,” she said.

Surprised, I probed deeper.

Sara continued, explaining how she disliked her manager. “There’s no way I can possibly succeed with her in charge.”

The more we talked, the more I realized Sara felt undervalued and unappreciated. She was equally frustrated in her personal life. In short, she felt overwhelmed, thinking the only way out was to leave, to start a new job.

Initially over-talkative and overstimulated, Sara struggled to accept feedback at the start of our collaboration. But this wasn’t permanent.

Through working together, Sara learned how to better accept setbacks and how to deal with difficult people. She also discovered how to manage-up without feeling weak and submissive.

In time, she came to see most of her negative feelings were due to not handling herself properly. “I realize now I was taking offense to every little comment meant to affect my self-esteem.”

Such remarks would often anger Sara, resulting in lost productivity. They also undermined her ability to work with others, giving her an unapproachable demeanor.

Because I seek out root causes of behavior, we quickly uncovered how a childhood upset created a recurring negative pattern whenever stressful situations occurred. In time, Sara mastered how to recognize such triggers.

Benefitting from such awareness empowered Sara, enabling her to change how she responded. Even her written correspondence transformed to a more cooperative style lacking defensiveness and a demanding response.

 “With your help, I learned how to listen actively, to stop interrupting, and to gain understanding and value from others,” she told me. What’s more, Sara realized whenever she interrupted someone, she was severely breaking connections and that team members would not support her objectives.

Six months after I first began coaching her, Sara has made a 180-degree change for the better. Nowadays, she actually enjoys interpersonal situations. She participates well socially, soliciting others’ ideas, working in stronger team collaboration to accomplish goals. Most importantly for Sara’s manager, she has built a stronger reputation for her department.

Possessing renewed energy and feeling appreciated for her skills and abilities, Sara has a new, positive attitude toward her company. This shift is paying dividends for all parties. Even the CEO has noticed the change and now invites Sara to higher-level meetings.

Benefitting from being seen for her worth and experience, Sara is undeniably flourishing. She reports feeling more composed and happier. “I’m enjoying so many new, exciting opportunities coming my way.”

At last feeling like she deserves her new successes, Sara is hungry for the leadership position now awaiting her, leading to a win-win for all involved, especially the company who brought me on to coach her.